"The Date"

After all of that choosing a date was terrible! We both wanted April 28.  His parents are seasonal workers and did not want us to do it in the summer.  I was not willing to wait until the fall since we already have 2 weddings to go to then.  So April was our natural choice seeing as our anniversary was that day.  Also I am going to have a week off of school, so it was perfect to prepare for the wedding.

We were excited, going out there looking for halls, when his brother said he can't make it.  My boyfriend said that he couldn't do it any time after May, so we could only do it before April 28.  How horrible, I really considered putting it earlier.  I'm not so self involved that I must have the day I wanted.  But His mom pointed out that I would be busy with school.  How would I put together a wedding all while in school?  I really hadn't considered that a serious factor until she pointed it out.  So it seemed like we were in a hard place.  Finally we decided just to put it on April 28, his family supported us in the decision, saying that we had to do what was best for us.

Or so it seemed! After we booked the hall for April 28 (which we got a deal for because it was before the busy time) suddenly, his parents said that they can do it in May.  What a hassle.  To add to this his brother and wife went around telling people that we specifically choose a day that they could not do.  What do they say about trying to please others...

Telling the Parents

After a great weekend with wine and great food.  I returned home.  So I didn't think much about my parents reaction.  We came home, called my parents together and told them the good news!  We were so excited and happy.  There's nothing like surly parents to fix that.  My dad made a sarcastic comment telling us "good luck"; my mom started asking about my boyfriend's financial situation.  I was so upset.  I guess that trying to get them to stop asking us about marriage had convinced them that we were never getting married. My parents have never really been accepting of my boyfriend, we are from two different cultures.  However I think the bigger problem is simply that he is a male.  They aren't very accepting to my other siblings significant others.

Then the date we were getting married became a problem.  They thought it was too quick.  I had to focus on telling them that I wasn't pregnant, because I could see that they were making assumptions.  My mom told me to wait, my dad told me it's too soon.  My mom started crying one day saying that I was going to move out.  I'd just like to say that I'm almost thirty!   I was so flabbergasted.  Finally I began reading wedding books and I read that many parents are depressed about their children getting married.  Who would have known?  I guess I'm not sensitive enough. 

Engagement

So I decided to make a blog after one of my instructors went on and on about how it is a necessary skill in this technological age.  I thought do I want a blog about that course? NO....I'm more interested right now in getting married.  So here's the blog about my wedding trials and tribulations.

My boyfriend and I talked  about getting married for a while now.  We talked about April.   He wanted to have a big wedding but I was not interested in that.  However, I capitulated since it seems that everyone around me wanted me to have a traditional wedding.  So the summer passed and he hadn't proposed.  Fall started and he hadn't proposed, at this time I was getting a bit anxious.  I am in school right now and in a transitional period.  We live about 2 hours away from each other, and the idea was that I'd move in with him.  However, with no proposal 7 months before we wanted to get married I figured we were just a lot of talk and no action.  I was pretty upset... I was pretty much waiting until April to break up with him.  Does that sound cruel?  I just figure that we were wasting each others time.  We've been together for 4 years and if we aren't going to move in together then what's the point of all this.

I must also mention we both come from conservative families who don't believe in common law marriage.  Unfortunately!  I really don't know what's the big deal.  Anyways, I got in a huge fight with my boyfriend who then told me he was waiting for the winter to propose because he had concocted a simple and sweet way to propose.  So I was the douche bag.  That made me feel even better.  To top it, he didn't  propose.  Weeks passed by and nothing.  So, one day he asked if I wanted to go wine tasting at the end of November.  I said that I don't have the money since I'm in school right now.  He booked it anyways and paid for the entire thing.  I knew something was up.  He is never so decisive.  However, there had been so many times before that I thought that he was going to propose and he never had.  So I was a bit caustic about the whole situation.  Well he took me to our favourite winery, and we did a tour.  They left us alone for like 10 minutes, but nothing.  I didn't really think much...I was sure if he would propose he would do it while we were alone.  Anyways, as we walked back to the car he said "Do you know why I brought you here" ... with those romantic words he proposed.  In the background was all the staff from the winery. Apparently they had left us alone for him to propose but he didn't get the hint.  It was the nicest thing ever.  But the iorny, is that he didn't propose any earlier than he had planned and all my bitching (a.k.a. sharing my concerns) didn't speed him up at all.