Rehersal & Flowers

So months ago, buying wholesale flowers and doing the centrepieces myself looked like a great way to save money and have that DIY flare that I like. My aunt knows a bit about flower arrangement and offered to help out so I was grateful and took her up on the offer.  Now, during the week up to the wedding, things aren't going so smoothly.  My poor aunt who has every intention of fulfilling her promises, is constantly set upon by her grandchildren.  Every time she says she's supposed to be helping me, suddenly her son's bring over their kids.  I know that that's her family and it is her priority but couldn't they wait until next week?
For example we were supposed to finish all the boutonnieres last night, however her son showed up with his newborn.  She was so happy so see the baby, and then that pushed back our entire schedule.  Instead of getting things done early, we got the bouquets ready.  To make things worse we had the rehearsal and dinner today, so we were rushing.  My sister offered to stay home with my aunt so that she could finish off everything.  I must say I took this the wrong way.  All of the stress of the wedding coalesced around me and I had a mini-breakdown.  I couldn't believe that she didn't "want" to come to the rehearsal.  After calming down a bit, I realized that she was trying to get the flowers done, not trying to ruin my planning.  So I then asked her to drop my aunt home.  By which time we were all a bit late for the rehearsal.

Just one more day of everything, and then I'm married. 

Bachlorette Party

So my bachlorette party was a massive failure.  I just wanted something simple and fun and that was all f-ed up.  I was supposed to stay in the city and just go out clubbing.  My matron of honour was supposed to come.  Her daughter was sick and her husband hung over.  Who can know what really happened, but she didn't show up.  We waited for her, and she didn't even call to say she wasn't coming.  My friends were a bit put out, apparently they had gotten a hotel room for me because of things that she had said to them.  I was so angry.  But just another way my bridesmaid has screwed me over.

Yet, another great part of the bachlorette was that I determined that I was the ugliest lady in the party.  All the guy were hitting on all my friends left right and centre.  And I was left by myself.  After the night progressed, and the guys had failed, they started hitting on me.  I guess in retrospect that makes me second best.  How great is my life? Maybe I should be happy that I found someone who love me for myself.  However realizing that you an ugly person is a bitter pill to swallow.

After we were finished clubbing my friends did not want to sleep at the hotel with me.  I was lucky, my cousin came and she hung out with me.  She must have noticed how pathetic I was.  But they promised me to come meet me for breakfast.   But when breakfast came, they didn't show up.  Then on my way home one of the organizers called me to say that the hotel gift was my present.  And that he was covering it for me. 

A few of my friends where  who in charge of the bachlorette decided to get me a hotel room that they could not afford.  They depended on the money from the other guests, who didn't show up. So they was stuck with a large bill that they couldn't afford.  I didn't even know that the money was an issue.  I would have never accepted a room, if I knew it was going to this much drama.  But like the rest of this wedding, something had to go wrong.

Bridal Shower

My surprise bridal shower was thrown by my delinquent bridesmaid.  She got me good, all her misdeeds were forgotten & forgiven.  She threw a wonderful shower with all my friends and family.  It was exciting and fun.  However during the shower, I felt unnerved.  It was only one month away from my wedding.  It felt surreal. 

I always thought that a bridal shower would be so fun, I never thought that all my fears would resurface.

Bridesmaid!

So immediatley I though of my sister as my bridesmaid.  I thought I would KISS and just have one.  Therefore there would only be one of everything to buy and we could shop for deals and she wouldn't have to corridinate with anyone.  I didn't really think much about colours.  I knew I wanted to wear some red.   That was the only thing that I gave any thought to.  I didn't know that colours were such a big deal.  So she didn't want to buy a dress.  It was such a stress.

"The Date"

After all of that choosing a date was terrible! We both wanted April 28.  His parents are seasonal workers and did not want us to do it in the summer.  I was not willing to wait until the fall since we already have 2 weddings to go to then.  So April was our natural choice seeing as our anniversary was that day.  Also I am going to have a week off of school, so it was perfect to prepare for the wedding.

We were excited, going out there looking for halls, when his brother said he can't make it.  My boyfriend said that he couldn't do it any time after May, so we could only do it before April 28.  How horrible, I really considered putting it earlier.  I'm not so self involved that I must have the day I wanted.  But His mom pointed out that I would be busy with school.  How would I put together a wedding all while in school?  I really hadn't considered that a serious factor until she pointed it out.  So it seemed like we were in a hard place.  Finally we decided just to put it on April 28, his family supported us in the decision, saying that we had to do what was best for us.

Or so it seemed! After we booked the hall for April 28 (which we got a deal for because it was before the busy time) suddenly, his parents said that they can do it in May.  What a hassle.  To add to this his brother and wife went around telling people that we specifically choose a day that they could not do.  What do they say about trying to please others...

Telling the Parents

After a great weekend with wine and great food.  I returned home.  So I didn't think much about my parents reaction.  We came home, called my parents together and told them the good news!  We were so excited and happy.  There's nothing like surly parents to fix that.  My dad made a sarcastic comment telling us "good luck"; my mom started asking about my boyfriend's financial situation.  I was so upset.  I guess that trying to get them to stop asking us about marriage had convinced them that we were never getting married. My parents have never really been accepting of my boyfriend, we are from two different cultures.  However I think the bigger problem is simply that he is a male.  They aren't very accepting to my other siblings significant others.

Then the date we were getting married became a problem.  They thought it was too quick.  I had to focus on telling them that I wasn't pregnant, because I could see that they were making assumptions.  My mom told me to wait, my dad told me it's too soon.  My mom started crying one day saying that I was going to move out.  I'd just like to say that I'm almost thirty!   I was so flabbergasted.  Finally I began reading wedding books and I read that many parents are depressed about their children getting married.  Who would have known?  I guess I'm not sensitive enough. 

Engagement

So I decided to make a blog after one of my instructors went on and on about how it is a necessary skill in this technological age.  I thought do I want a blog about that course? NO....I'm more interested right now in getting married.  So here's the blog about my wedding trials and tribulations.

My boyfriend and I talked  about getting married for a while now.  We talked about April.   He wanted to have a big wedding but I was not interested in that.  However, I capitulated since it seems that everyone around me wanted me to have a traditional wedding.  So the summer passed and he hadn't proposed.  Fall started and he hadn't proposed, at this time I was getting a bit anxious.  I am in school right now and in a transitional period.  We live about 2 hours away from each other, and the idea was that I'd move in with him.  However, with no proposal 7 months before we wanted to get married I figured we were just a lot of talk and no action.  I was pretty upset... I was pretty much waiting until April to break up with him.  Does that sound cruel?  I just figure that we were wasting each others time.  We've been together for 4 years and if we aren't going to move in together then what's the point of all this.

I must also mention we both come from conservative families who don't believe in common law marriage.  Unfortunately!  I really don't know what's the big deal.  Anyways, I got in a huge fight with my boyfriend who then told me he was waiting for the winter to propose because he had concocted a simple and sweet way to propose.  So I was the douche bag.  That made me feel even better.  To top it, he didn't  propose.  Weeks passed by and nothing.  So, one day he asked if I wanted to go wine tasting at the end of November.  I said that I don't have the money since I'm in school right now.  He booked it anyways and paid for the entire thing.  I knew something was up.  He is never so decisive.  However, there had been so many times before that I thought that he was going to propose and he never had.  So I was a bit caustic about the whole situation.  Well he took me to our favourite winery, and we did a tour.  They left us alone for like 10 minutes, but nothing.  I didn't really think much...I was sure if he would propose he would do it while we were alone.  Anyways, as we walked back to the car he said "Do you know why I brought you here" ... with those romantic words he proposed.  In the background was all the staff from the winery. Apparently they had left us alone for him to propose but he didn't get the hint.  It was the nicest thing ever.  But the iorny, is that he didn't propose any earlier than he had planned and all my bitching (a.k.a. sharing my concerns) didn't speed him up at all.